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Thank you for downloading the podcast, my name is Arlina, and I’ll be your host.
In case we haven’t met yet, I am a certified Recovery Coach and Hypnotist. I am obsessed with all things recovery, including neuroscience, reprogramming the subconscious mind, law of attraction, all forms of personal growth and spirituality. I have been practicing abstinence from drugs and alcohol since 4/23/94, and I believe in people finding what works for them.
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Today I have the honor of sharing a very touching story from my new friend Tim Lodgen. I found Tim’s openness and vulnerability to be truly courageous. He has a huge following on Instagram already and he shares the message of hope in a profound way. His stories will both bring a tear to your eye, but in that magical way that only those of us in recovery really understand. It was such a pleasure to speak with Tim today. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.
Transcript:
Arlina Allen 0:03
Well, Tim, thanks so much for joining me today.
Tim Lodgen 0:08
Thanks for having me. I’m really appreciate you having me on.
Arlina Allen 0:11
I am really looking forward to hearing your story. You know, there are a lot of people who, you know, wanted to get sober for a long time. And I understand that that’s part of your story that you wanted to get sober for a long time. And now you’ve been able to maintain a healthy sobriety, which congratulations, that’s amazing. And so we’d love to hear your I’m really looking forward to hearing your experience about what it was like for you to struggle for the length of time that you did. And I was going to ask you some things around, you know, what was helpful to you what was hurtful, because I know that a lot of us, you know, when you’re in the recovery community, you’re exposed to people who relapse or have a hard time, and it’s hard to know how to help. You know what I mean? And so I would love to get your perspective on that. But the where the place I like to start is with what I call the lightning round, which is a misnomer, because it takes a long time to do it, your your game is so fun. Okay, so what do you have a favorite recovery book?
Unknown Speaker 1:26
I’m actually I’m knocking doors down.
Arlina Allen 1:29
Oh, who sat by?
Tim Lodgen 1:32
I don’t. It’s Carlos. I don’t know his middle name. But it’s Carlos. Venezuela. Okay. He is a not a NASCAR driver, but a former the one racer. Oh, wow, really. And it’s a true story about his drug addiction and how he struggled with it for years. And now he’s so I think he’s like 10 years sober now. And he’s, he’s driving and winning all these races and his life has completely changed. And I know it’s a really good book. And also, I’ve read three of my buddy Brandon Novak’s books. He he’s got three of them out three books already. He’s got three books already. And two of them are New York bestsellers.
Arlina Allen 2:14
Wow. So just for those who don’t know, Brandon was part of the Jackass community.
Unknown Speaker 2:21
Is that fair?
Tim Lodgen 2:22
At Viva la bam. And then he’s a part of the CK why crew which does music. So he’s been around a little bit.
Arlina Allen 2:30
Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. I would love to talk to him too. But wow, three books. I would imagine with all the Jackass experiences, he could fill a few.
Tim Lodgen 2:42
He is. He’s He’s tells everything. He doesn’t hold anything back. And some of the things that he says you’re like, I can’t believe you just admitted to doing that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But he will tell you, he’s got to be an open book. And he just wants the people to know his true story. He doesn’t want to sugarcoat it. And, you know, from him going, you know, he overdosed 13 times, was in 27 treatment centers. And it finally wasn’t until the last time when he was homeless, he had no money. No, he was sleeping on the streets. And he walked into a treatment center in which he’d been in five or six times. And holy, He even said in his interviews, when he walked in this last time, the person at the front desk saw something different. They were like, okay, so you’re ready now? Like it just he said, finally it clicked. I mean, his mother took out a grave plot forum. You know, friend took license, his friends took life insurance policies out on them, like they were expecting him to die. 100%
Arlina Allen 3:44
Yeah, that is, yeah. You know, a lot of those people with all that visibility. A lot of them don’t fare well.
Tim Lodgen 3:50
Yeah. And he said, You know, when Brian, BAM brought him on, he was trying to help them. But what he actually did was he enabled him because he was getting paid all this money. So he could get anything he wanted whenever he wanted. And it was like a double edged sword. Yeah,
Arlina Allen 4:04
yeah. It’s interesting. Yeah. So much harder. So you were exposed. So you, you mentioned earlier that he went to like, you went through with all through school with Brandon. Yes, he went through. Yeah. So he must have been exposed to all kinds of people and
Tim Lodgen 4:24
outrageous. Yeah, and high school was kind of funny, because, um, I first time I ever drank I was in ninth grade. And, um, yeah, we had a freshman party. My friend had a freshman party, and he got a whole bunch of beer, and I drank it. And the next day, I was so sick. I mean, thrilling up hangover, and I remember it was, it was almost at the end of the summer, and my mom was having a party and for my punishment of being hungover she made me shocked 60 years of corn because we were having a party at the house. She said there’s a bag for you to throw up shuck all these people. Before as I laid on the couch getting sick and trying to shove this coin but I never I didn’t touch alcohol again until my senior year. Oh, I didn’t want anything to do with it made me that sick. And I was like, that’s not for me. But my senior year. That’s when I got into drugs and alcohol. And it went from just doing it on the weekends to doing it during the week. Sometimes before school, during school after school it became, it became my life. And it took everything from me. I was an athlete, I was a Golden Gloves, boxer. I was in skateboarding, football, baseball. And as soon as I started drinking and doing drugs, not only did my priorities change, but all my family, my friends changed. Like, I wasn’t hanging out with people playing sports and doing good in schools. I was hanging out with people partying and having fun and getting in trouble. And people. Yeah, and I’m not gonna lie, enjoyed it. We had a great time. Yeah, no, but at after high school, it came to a point where I didn’t have really good grades to go to college. And a lot of my friends were joining the military. So I was like, you know, I’m not really getting into college. And a lot of my friends got into heroin, too. And Brandon included, and I was like, I don’t want to go down that road. Like I was smoking pot at that point doing LSD and drinking. But I just, yeah, yeah, just normal things fine. But um, I’ve really had a stigma about heroin and cocaine. And like, opioids, like I didn’t, I didn’t want anything to do with that. I just wanted to kind of be like, a modern day hippie, I like, like hanging out listening to classic rock and partying with my friends. So I decided to go into the Marine Corps right out of high school. Oh, you did? Yeah. So straight out of high school. I went into the Marine Corps, he didn’t miss you. They did. But I had stopped a month prior to going. Like, I didn’t leave until September 7. And like somewhere and about the end of July, I stopped smoking pie and doing everything else. I still drank. But that didn’t. That didn’t matter. It was the drugs that really, they were looking for. So I passed all the tests and everything. But as soon as we got out of boot camp, and we were stationed in North Carolina, all we did when we got off was go drink. Yeah, I mean, that was what we did. When we were at four o’clock, when we were led out of formation, we, we would get dressed and leave the base and go right to a bar or strip club. And we will do our thing until Sunday.
Arlina Allen 7:33
Oh, yeah, that is so great. Well, that’s, you know, that’s not uncommon. You know, for the military guys, so young, and,
Tim Lodgen 7:42
and you know, and they’re thinking about being in the Marines, right? Pretty much any military, when you’re in the military. The bars will tell you if you’re old enough to take a bullet for this country, you’re old enough to have a cold beer. Wow. So they would serve us at 1819 20 years old, not caring, and the only stipulation was don’t stand there with a beer in your hand, put it on the table. And when you’re ready to drink, take a sip or put it back down in case anybody should happen to walk in. Right. But you could go right up to the bar they’d serve. Yeah, but that was the only stipulation don’t stand there with it in your
Arlina Allen 8:13
hand. Okay, and that’s when you were like 1819 years old.
Tim Lodgen 8:17
1819 20. Yeah. And it was from Friday till Sunday. I mean, we would come in sometimes one o’clock in the morning, Sunday and have to be in formation at 330 in the morning, ah, and we were all still drunk. And then we have to go run three miles and do all this calisthenics throwing up. But it was kind of expected almost like all of our sergeants, we would see him out with the bars too. And they were like a further 3am You better be there. 3am just as long as it doesn’t impede what we’re what we’re doing that so it wasn’t frowned upon.
Arlina Allen 8:49
I wonder if it’s different now.
Tim Lodgen 8:51
I’m sure it is a lot. 9596
Arlina Allen 8:55
Yeah, things are different. Oh my gosh. Well, that that’s intense. I’m going to circle back to that. Because I have four more questions for the Lightning Rounds. I know. Do you have a go to mantra or quote that you live by? Besides Semper Fi?
Unknown Speaker 9:18
Yeah, no, um, I don’t know if it’s actually a quote, but I’m really big on the word hope. Oh, you know, I lost hope. And, and I had three suicide attempts that I felt I lived through. And that was my deepest, darkest point in my life. And, you know, the first time I did it, I was 20. Just coming home from the Marine Corps. And I, you know, in the 90s they knew about PTSD, but they didn’t really treat it. It wasn’t an ongoing thing like it is now. So they pretty much there was just like, Okay, we’ll go home and readjust to society. And for first three months I was home, it was very hard for me. And my mom led me to move back in, I got my old bed made it comfortable for me. But I found myself one day, you know, wanting to end it all, because, you know, I have bipolar disorders also. And I wasn’t taking my medicine, but I was drinking and drugging, so that, you know, multiply that by 10 times easy. And I had a girlfriend at the time, and I was sitting at home and went to my stepdads on more employees gone out, and I sat on my lap, and I just wanted, I didn’t want to drink anymore. I was missing being a Marine. And I didn’t, I didn’t know my purpose and my place in life. And luckily, you know, I wanted to do it, but I was too much of a coward to do it. So I called my girlfriend before what was going on. And she came over my house, and we talked it out. And she helped me to put it away and said everything was going to be better. And that was the first time I’ve really lost hope. And in the second time, this was about 40 years ago. I had some surgeries, I was a mixed martial arts fighter in my 30s. And I had seven surgeon at seven surgeries because of that. And so they were paying the doctors were giving me pain medicine, like it was tick tax. And every time I go in there, they just refill the prescription refill the prescription refill, and that was like for four years long. And I remember saying to myself yet again, I’m an alcoholic. I’m taking this pain medicine every day, I’m going to die if I continue to do this. So I took 18 Five milligram Percocet and drank a 12 pack of beer. And I remember praying to God to please don’t let me wake up. And I woke up the next morning, and it didn’t really click to me.
Arlina Allen 11:48
He must have had such a high tolerance. Well,
Unknown Speaker 11:51
yeah, I was taking him for four years at that point. You know what I mean? Because of all the surgeries that I had, and it was not it was not started every 30 days, I get my prescription for four years straight. And I was drinking alcohol on top of that, and smoking pot on top of that, too. So I was doing all three every single day. And when I woke up the next morning, I was like, wow, well, maybe he’s got a different plan for me. But that didn’t stop me from drinking, or smoking pot. But it did however, get me off of opioids. I myself chose chose not to take pain medicine anymore after that night. And for the first week, I was really, really sick. I mean, throw it off using the restroom, just fever like I had a massive flu. And then it’s yeah, and then it subsided. And I haven’t touched a pain medicine since then. That’s been like six years now. And I have no desire to do it. Okay, I broke my ankle a couple months ago. I mean, I’m not mad, my wrist, I broke my wrist and he offered me pain medicine. And I said no. I say give me 100 milligram ibuprofen, and I’ll take Tylenol. And that’s all I’ve done. So it was like that addiction of the opioids was lifted. I had no desire to do that. But I’m still drinking every single day. And that’s what really took me down. And that’s what made me realize that I do have a purpose and not to give up hope. You know, February of last year, about two weeks before I went to rehab, I had gotten a new truck. I was coming home from the liquor store, and I hit something. And I still don’t know what I hit. I honestly have no recollection of hitting anything. And the next morning when I woke up to my wife, I’m going to go get some milk and some water and she said, Oh, look at your truck in the driveway. It’s forgot to my truck and side mirrors hanging off the front tires all smashed into rims hanging off. And she just looked at me and she’s like, You don’t know what you hit, do you? And I said no, I don’t. She said, Tim, you could have killed somebody last night. She had something has to change. So you and she’s like, You can’t stay here you got to go figure it out. So I got back some things out and got my truck and I told my friend and he said come to my house. That thing’s cool over and then you go back in a couple days, your wife and sort things out. So I get to his house. And his his great idea was well, let’s go to the bar, you know, I mean, you can’t go home miles go drinking. So I’m like, Sure, no problem. So we go to the bar, and we drink and do shots. And as I’m leaving the bar, I reread somebody at a red light with a different comp ship. Same truck two
Unknown Speaker 14:26
days later, same truck, it was driving.
Unknown Speaker 14:30
I got somebody to come out and put the spare tire on my when my tire and rim was okay. And yeah, and my sideview mirror I was like, Well, I got a left one. I’ll need a passenger side mirror. I’m good. So I drove like that for a long time. And I ran into person and I get out and I’m like, are you okay? And he’s Yeah, I’m okay. So were your cars, okay, the front of my bumper was all smashed up. And I said, Well, you’re okay, your car’s okay, I’m out, jumped in my truck and I took off. I know that wasn’t the right thing to do. But I was drunk and I knew if I stuck around I was going to jail. There’s no doubt about it, my truck would have been impounded, like I just wasn’t ready for that. So I go back to my friend’s house and like, I can’t stay here, I gotta go for you stop, figure something out. So I go to go to the liquor store and get liquor. And I go to a park and right where you wait for a train, a train to compete. Yum. And I sat there for two days in the parking lot. Drinking myself into oblivion. I turned my phone off. I didn’t want to hear no, nothing. I don’t want to talk to nobody. And I was really at the lowest point of my life. At that point, I lost all hope. And it’s seven after 10. On Friday morning, I turned my phone on. At nine after 10. Brandon calls me two minutes after I had my phone off for 48 hours. And he’s like logic. What the f are you doing? I’m like, I’m cold. I’m hungry. I’m tired. And he said, Good. That’s what you need. I just talked to your mom and your wife and we had a plane ticket ready for you tonight at 830. Get on that plane and it will save your life. I’m like, okay, okay, okay. I still wasn’t feeling going to go into rehab. So hung up in like, 30 minutes later, my wife calls me Hey, where are you? Where have you been? Everybody’s been worried about you. Please come home. Try to eat something, take a shower. And please get on that plane tonight. So I get home. And I try to eat I could stop drinking for two days straight. Just nothing but fireball whiskey, no food in my no food in my belly. And often. At this point, I was up to 25 minutters day of the fireball.
Arlina Allen 16:39
How can you even get it just a bit bottle?
Unknown Speaker 16:43
My addiction told me not to get a big bottle because then I would know exactly how much I was drinking. And that is that is actually true. Value play with our so I didn’t want to get the big bottle because I would look around like man, I drank that whole bottle today. But this little miniatures, I could drink and throw away and not remember how many I drank? Oh, funny. I was I was playing a mind trick in my own mind. Yeah. So I get home and I’m sitting in bed and I’m scared to go to rehab. And, you know, everything I’ve done over the last 27 years just started to hit me. And I go into my basement. And I throw a rope around the rafters I’ll put it around the neck. And I step up on a bucket. And we’ve gotten quiet for about three to four minutes. And my wife come down the steps and she sees me. And I’m in the lounge room. And she looks at me and she says What what are you doing? And I said I can’t I can’t do this anymore. I was like the pains got to stop. And she just looks at me and she says please, please get down. Everything’s going to be okay. Just get on that plane tonight. Did you know what this would do to your children, just please get down. So I got down and I cried for 510 minutes downstairs in a ball. And then I go back upstairs into the bedroom. And at this time was about four or five in the afternoon. So I still had about three hours before I went and I just sat and thought about everything that I’ve done every lie, cheat, steal, everything I’ve done, and I called my friend and I sound ready. I said I’ll be on that plane. He says when you get to the airport, call me after you check your bags in and your past security because I want to make sure you’re getting on that plane, you’re not just going to go and catch, catch a cab and get out of here. So I sit down, I call him and he just simply says I’m proud of you I love everything’s gonna be alright. As I’m sitting there, I get this overwhelming feeling that came over my complete body. And something in my head said, it’s going to be okay. And that is the first time in my life, I have felt hope. I have felt like I was in the right place at the right time of my life to get the help that I need to save my life. And I can never explain enough that feeling that came over me it was I mean, it completely washed over my body. It was an amazing feeling. I’ll never forget that for the rest of my life. And if I take that for granted, what a shame. That would be not to acknowledge that experience that I had. And it wasn’t for me it came from something. And I can’t deny that. I mean to be where I was in my life at that time. For those things to fall into place when they did. It’s not a coincidence.
Arlina Allen 19:30
Do you feel like that was your first spiritual experience?
Unknown Speaker 19:34
That was my second one. And the first one I completely ignored. And this day resonates with me. It was March 16 2017. And we have a reservoir around here that you can it’s all it’s all through the woods and you can drive through and it’s about a five mile nice drive through the woods and there’s water. It’s really beautiful. And I’m driving through the reservoir and I’m crying and I’m hitting the steering wheel and I’m like Please give me a sign tell me I’m not alone tell me that everything is going to be okay. I just I can’t do this anymore. And I drive you through the reservoir and I come up to a tree where my senior year of high school, my best friend was killed in a car accident. And he hit the tree and at the tree, his flowers, and they leave a book fair, you can write to him, and it’s like a little visual for my friend. So I go, and I turned around, and I stopped at his tree. And I said, Bill, if you can send me a sign, please tell me I’m not alone. Please tell me how many get through this. And it’s going to trick me up. Um, so I turn around, and I’m going back through the reservoir. And instead of parking, I’m on the right hand side, instead of parking on the right hand where your car would face like normal. I pull over and park on the left hand side where the cars are facing me. And I sit there for 10 minutes. And this car pulls up. In a man gets out of the car. I’m looking out and he’s got his dog. And I’m looking, I’m looking man looks familiar. And all of a sudden, it hit me. It was my friend’s dad that I had not seen since he passed away 27 years ago. And I get out and I’m like, Mr. Bill, and he just looks at music Timmy in August last night, sort of crying. And I’m like, I can’t I’m an alcoholic. I’m a drug addict. Nothing stops. And he said, I have to tell you this. He said I’m supposed to be in South Carolina this morning. He said my wife came to me in a dream last night and told me to hold off in South Carolina. Go tomorrow, go to Loch Raven in the morning, and walk the dog. I just got chills. It was amazing. I mean, I tell that story meetings and people tear up and it. But I didn’t listen. He actually sent me a sign when I asked them to and I didn’t listen.
Arlina Allen 21:56
It’s just it’s still had an effect on you though, right? Like I did. Like, it just takes what it takes. And maybe you needed that experience in addition to your the second, you know, experience, like it just takes what it takes and it wasn’t lost on you. Right? No, no, it’s one of the most amazing story. And that’s something that you get to share.
Unknown Speaker 22:22
It’s incredible. And when I say when I tell people just look at me like, Wow, that’s amazing. Like, my, his wife had passed like two years early. And his son passed, you know, and he was a Yeah, Mr. Nice told me to go to like, rave and he goes, I was planning on going to South Carolina this morning. Wow. I had no no intentions of walking his dog at that reservoir. And I mean, I can’t explain that.
Arlina Allen 22:46
Well, can’t we though? power greater than ourselves. Right,
Unknown Speaker 22:50
our greater than ourselves. Absolutely.
Arlina Allen 22:52
That is a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing that. No, absolutely. I love that. You know, they say that alcoholism is a disease of isolation and connection is the cure. Right? And it’s like, connections that give us the hope. Right? It’s like that connection that you had with that man on that day under those circumstances. I mean, that’s wild.
Unknown Speaker 23:14
Yeah, that was 2016. I haven’t seen them before or since that day. Wow. Sorry, I’ve never I don’t run into. I don’t feel like I didn’t see him before. You know, my friend died in 1996. And for me to see him in 2016 20 years later. And I haven’t seen him since then. Come on. It was like Bill sent me an angel. That very, yeah.
Arlina Allen 23:37
Well, it’s so interesting, because we’re we’re a funny group of people we like experienced these miracles, a dare I say. And, you know, you go to rooms where people have recovered from like a seemingly hopeless disease. And it’s like, Oh, these are miracles that it’s easy to sort of fall asleep again, and be like, Rory, it’s really a thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, I hear these stories. And I was like, Okay, I got you, I hear you. And it was
Unknown Speaker 24:05
kind of like, what? Okay, so we talked to me, and there’s somebody there. So that means I’m okay. So I can just continue to do what I’m doing. You know what I mean? It wasn’t like, you should have listened to this right now and changed your life. It was almost like, Why No, somebody is watching over me and I’ll be fine. So I’ll just continue to do right by
Unknown Speaker 24:22
right by.
Arlina Allen 24:26
I were funny or funny. Tell Ourselves I know. I know. Well, whatever. I mean, here we are. I love the that hope is something that is so dear to your heart, though because that that really is sort of the elixir for change. That’s that’s really beautiful. What is your recovery, your self care routine? Like do you do a certain number of meetings do you pray meditate in the morning? What does that look like for you?
Unknown Speaker 24:52
A little bit of both, um, when I first got home from rehab, you know, and they tell you to rehab to do 90 and 90 Yeah, and I’m like, how am I gonna do 99 I did 98 $9 But you know, I look at the guy like how 199 He looks at me goes, Did you drink every day? I was it. Yes, I did. He was how many hours out of the day to drink. I was like, as soon as I got off work until until I went to bed. He’s extra four or five hours a day. I was a good you can’t do one hour for your sobriety. And that’s when it kind of hit me. I was like, Oh, wow. Yeah, I guess I could not
Arlina Allen 25:25
possibly my busy schedule, guess. Right, right.
Unknown Speaker 25:28
Yeah, but I could drink all day and throw everything out the window. not get anything done, right. Yeah. Okay, so 98 and 99. And then I found myself back into the gym exercising working out. That was one of my biggest.
Arlina Allen 25:45
Why do people use exercise as a form of man, it really just is like a mood stabilizer and really, you know, the neurosciences, endorphins, your serotonin and serotonin levels. It does so much, too.
Unknown Speaker 26:01
Yeah. No, that’s been a big help. And you know, it’s like, and now I’m actually I’ll be 10 months sober next week. I’m training for a bodybuilding competition this year.
Arlina Allen 26:08
Congratulation,
Unknown Speaker 26:11
and like my friend called and told me, he’s a man. He said, If you He said, It doesn’t matter if you win. He said, the fact that you’re doing that and getting on stage, he said, after what you’ve been through, he said, You’re a goddamn miracle. He said, You inspire me so much. He said, If you even if you come in last place, you said you won. You said you beat this. You beat it. And he was I just, he wants me to write a book. He’s like, Yeah, that’s what he said. He’s like, he’s like, don’t use it. Don’t let this go back past. He said, Your stories are resonating with so many people. He was like, just write the damn book.
Arlina Allen 26:43
Yeah. I mean, you’re somebody who’s willing to be transparent and speak from the heart, the fact that you’re able to share something that brings tears to your eyes, or gives you that that’s what people resonate with. Right? Yeah, you know, it’s, it’s easy to try to want to look good, but it takes courage to be vulnerable and transparent. But that’s what resonates with people.
Unknown Speaker 27:03
You know, and like, my mom says, Could you read anything off of paper? I was like, No, Mom, I said, because it comes from my heart. I was like, I’m telling the truth. And if I’m reading off a paper, it’s not. People are not going to react to that. It’s like I’m a robot. But I’m telling you how I feel and what it’s done to me. And, you know, a lot of people out there, they feel alone, and nobody knows what they’re going through. Nobody could possibly know the pain that they feel when that is so far from the truth. No, people want addiction. We’re strong warriors. Because we fight that battle every single day.
Arlina Allen 27:39
We develop such a strong, such a heavy tolerance to pain, we actually are a lot stronger to our detriment and a lot of ways.
Unknown Speaker 27:48
It is absolutely no it is, you
Arlina Allen 27:50
know, we turned our defects into assets. Right? And so that encouraged that you have to do the self examination and to share your story. That’s I, you know, I’m sure you hear this too, like people are talking about, oh, I got sober by myself. And in the back of my mind, I’m like, that doesn’t take any courage whatsoever.
Unknown Speaker 28:08
Being sober and being recovery are two different things. Two totally different things. You could be sober and miserable and miserable. But recovery doing the steps actually help you throughout your entire life. You become a better human being. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I, I still go to three meetings a week, three week. Okay, three a week. I have two
Arlina Allen 28:29
men’s meetings out there in Maryland. Baltimore.
Unknown Speaker 28:34
We not really it’s it’s all it’s it’s it’s co I mean, you could probably find some men meetings, but I like going. Yeah, I like going with everybody because it’s different, different perspective from different people. Yeah. And I was thinking, you know, football gym, man, it’s kind of kind of a men’s club. I like hearing from everybody because it doesn’t just affect men. Districts, everybody. Yeah,
Arlina Allen 28:57
my husband’s been sober a long time and he kind of grew up and so I was gonna ask you, I thought it’d be fun to sort of talk about the differences between like California a and a in Baltimore. You know, some of the differences. I had a friend I was telling you earlier, a friend from high school got sober in Maryland, when he came back to California. He’s like, You guys aren’t doing it right.
Unknown Speaker 29:17
They’re very strict. You know, it’s funny segments in California because a lot of people will say, you know that California sober. Oh,
Arlina Allen 29:23
that’s a whole nother thing. I
Unknown Speaker 29:26
did a look down on that show monster. Like if you’re sober. That’s bullshit, by the way, no, using any mind alternating substances whatsoever. Mm hmm. You know, I mean, they’re like, and they won’t sponsor you. If you’re on the medical marijuana program. They won’t sponsor you if you’re doing Suboxone. Like, they want you 100% sober and in the life of sobriety.
Arlina Allen 29:45
Okay, but the caveat to that is fucking stay alive. Like if you have to smoke weed to do suboxone and to stay alive, do that shit like harm reduction. I think that is a valid form of recovery, but I just I just Want to throw it out there that I’m from California. I don’t currently live there. But I grew up with hardcore abstinence. And that’s what that’s what I practice. I practice hardcore abstinence and everybody that I respect. And like, who I want to emulate are practicing hardcore abstinence, this idea of California sober that really paints such a negative picture for the rest of us in California like that’s like bullshit. Like I’m all about you stay alive if you got to smoke weed to stay alive. And but and you’re on the path to harm reduction and you’re like you said, there’s a difference between sober and recovered by God bless you do what you got to do. I’m in no position to judge anybody else. But I’m hoping that people sort of on the marijuana me I was on the marijuana maintenance program. When I first got sober. It took me 60 days to get 30 because I was a big weed smoker. But then anyway, that’s my soapbox. Sorry. This is Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 30:57
no, I was honestly, coming home and not smoking pot, I think was harder for me than not picking up alcohol. Yeah. Because I have a dispensary across the street from my house. Like, I literally look at it. Like, I could walk across there. And my daughter’s got her card. Like my wife’s shirts on her day. 23
Arlina Allen 31:18
Yeah. 23 a brand sondors Three. Oh, my God.
Unknown Speaker 31:24
Yeah, I have three daughters. 2314 and 10.
Arlina Allen 31:28
Yeah, three girls. Wow.
Unknown Speaker 31:31
But I got my grand boy.
Arlina Allen 31:35
I hear grandchildren are way more fun than the actual children.
Unknown Speaker 31:38
Yes. We let them get away with murder.
Arlina Allen 31:42
And how long have you been married?
Unknown Speaker 31:45
So I got with my wife and 96 When I got home from the Marine Corps. Oh, we got we got married in 2004. But we’ve been together since 1996. So I think I think this year is 2627 years coming up.
Arlina Allen 31:58
I’m counting it from 96 Yeah, I started dating my husband and I got sober in 94. And he got sober for like five years. But I count. It’s so funny. It’s like there’s the date you get you get together and then the date you get married. And it’s but I like if you meet the one then it’s the date that you meet.
Unknown Speaker 32:18
Yeah, can we can get it backwards. You started dating, we bought a house. Then she got married. And then four years later, we got I mean, we bought a house. We had a child. And then four years later, we got married, that we were already living together for four years. Then we had our daughter she was three when we got married
Unknown Speaker 32:32
then common. No. And finally,
Unknown Speaker 32:35
we did a trip to Vegas with her parents and your grandparents. They were like, they’re like why don’t you guys just get married? You’ve been together seven years. You have a four year old? Like what’s stopping you? So we might have spent 60 bucks down at the courthouse and went to a chapel and had a great Mary. Nice wedding. It was cool.
Arlina Allen 32:53
Oh, that’s super cool. And did she ever go to Al Anon or did she party at all? Or where was she at with all this?
Unknown Speaker 33:01
Would say she’s a normal person. She’s, um, she’s got five bottles of wine downstairs, and that will be downstairs for a whole year. And
Unknown Speaker 33:09
that’s alcohol abuse.
Unknown Speaker 33:11
So she’ll have a drink, and then it could sit there for a whole month before she does anything else about it. But she does smoke pot every day. Every day,
Unknown Speaker 33:21
every day. Oh, it doesn’t mean it did
Unknown Speaker 33:25
first when I first came home. Yeah, that’s I said that that was the harder for me than the alcohol because you’re not a big alcohol drinker. But she smokes pot. And she’s been very good about it. She’ll go outside, or shall wait for me to leave go to the gym. She doesn’t do it in front of me. I barely see it. You know what I mean? So she’s very conscious of she’s told me she feels awkward doing it if I’m in the house. Yeah. So that’s pretty cool that she that she does, and she’s been extremely open about everything and very receptive to my, my recovery. You know, she should have asked me, you know, years ago for everything I’ve done, she I mean, to really shut up. And she stopped by me and I asked her, you know, why did you stick by me? Why didn’t you leave? And she said, Because I love you. She’s and I believe in you. She doesn’t I know that person wasn’t you? And I know the person you can become and I want to be with that person. I can I can’t ask for anything more than that. She know best of you. And what a shame it would be for us to get a divorce and I get my best somebody else after 26 years and what a creep.
Arlina Allen 34:37
Yeah, that would be a bummer.
That’s a beautiful. What’s your wife’s name? Jennifer. Jennifer. God bless, Jennifer. Okay, so you guys have been married a long time three kids, a grandson life looks beautiful now and you’re doing three meetings a week. Bye Um, can you talk a little bit about your I never supposed to maintain anonymity, but I kind of have thrown it used to do I used to sort of have like this thin veil, you know, saying, Oh, we went to 12 step, I went to a spa. But I think we’re all very clear about what it was that helped us get sober. So you did treatment? Did you do steps in treatment? Or did they largely take you to a lot of meetings? How
Unknown Speaker 35:27
we did steps in treatment? We did seven meetings a day, and meetings a day, our day to day treatment. Okay. Oh, my 32 days. So I did over 200 and some meetings and 32 days in treatment.
Arlina Allen 35:41
I was like, You mean a week? A day? That’s crazy. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 35:46
it was it was full on recovery. Okay, we had a we had a personal trainer, we were working out. We have therapists and psychologists, we had doctors. I mean, it was a complete hands on recovery center. So you had a
Arlina Allen 36:00
really good read. You had a good treatment experience.
Unknown Speaker 36:04
Yeah, so um, Banyon treatment centers in Florida. Okay. And that’s where my, that’s where Brandon went. And he will and he’s actually a counselor for them. And he’s an AZ addiction advocate. So he helps people get into programs. He himself has opened up to recovery houses within the past year. So he’s really big on helping people that need help. And since he’s on the not the owner, if he’s on the board there, whatever, but he’s got a direct lines like, hey, you know, John, Joe, whatever needs help you have any beds open? If you do, okay, well, it’s booked a flight, they’ll be there like he’s hands on with that. I was very fortunate enough.
Arlina Allen 36:46
That’s not uncommon for people who have sort of studied the abyss of destruction. And, you know, if someone can pull you back, and you kind of come to like you have, and like, as he has, as I have, there is such a drive to want to save others from that same journey mean, like, so
Unknown Speaker 37:09
I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I’m doing these podcasts. And because I want I want people to know they’re not alone. I want to share my story. Hopefully my, my first one, I was like, hopefully this helps one person. But the response I got from doing the first podcast was so humbling, it was just blew me away.
Arlina Allen 37:27
a humbling experience. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 37:30
it’s amazing. You know, just yesterday, I got a phone call from a gentleman. I haven’t seen him for years. And he called him said, Hey, guys, I see you on Instagram. I see you doing podcasts. He’s like, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. Oh, he’s like, your before and after picture. He said, I can’t even wrap my head around it. He said you were so good to me. He said you were so fat and bloated. You said you said you look like a straight up alcoholic. He said and now
Unknown Speaker 37:57
people are like, Oh my God used to look like shit. You’re like,
Unknown Speaker 38:01
Oh, okay. Don’t recognize me. I kind of knew my face was getting chubby and my skin was getting flush. But I didn’t care. I know. I’m not an issue. Now. I look back on it. The first time I saw it a couple weeks ago, I teared up. And I was like, wow, I looked like that. I looked horrible. Yeah. You know, when I got into treatment, they did all these tests on me. My liver was four times what it should have been so scary. So again, not another coincidence that I went at that specific time in my life. Yeah, the doctor told me if I were to continue drinking for the next two to three years, I wouldn’t made it to my 50th birthday. Isn’t that crazy? Yeah, and I have no idea.
Arlina Allen 38:39
You say coincidences. My sister causes Quinta gods?
Unknown Speaker 38:43
Yeah, I should probably heard that. Absolutely. I believe there’s no coincidences anymore. Things happen for a reason when they’re supposed to happen at that moment.
Arlina Allen 38:51
Yeah, that is amazing. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So treatment sounds like a very good experience for you, you get? It sounds like you were already going to meetings. Did you get a sponsor right away? Or how did you go about finding a sponsor?
Unknown Speaker 39:07
I waited until I was eight months in to get a sponsor.
Arlina Allen 39:12
And you’re like, almost 10 months? month and
Unknown Speaker 39:14
a half ago? Yeah. Cuz I’ll come up on 10 Next week. So yeah. I saw a lot of people coming out and getting sponsors right away. And then I would see them switching sponsors because they didn’t connect with that sponsor. I saw it so many times. I wanted to go to the meetings, and fill people out and genuinely see the people that go all the time, and actually walk the walk, not talk it and don’t show up in meetings. And finally, I found this gentleman named Jeff. And we hit it off. He’s got 39 years. So he’s got 40 years coming up in February. And just the way he speaks the way he lives, his life now. All just resonated with me, and we hit it off and he’s my sponsor now. And he calls me on to say at least three times a week I see him every Friday, maybe that twice, twice a week. But
Arlina Allen 40:05
cuz he’s calling you. That’s interesting. Like, I want to make sure
Unknown Speaker 40:09
I’m doing my step work because it gives me you know, step one, step two, and make sure I’m writing it down, and we’ll go over what I’m writing down. And he actually makes me work the steps other than just, oh, no, you know, the steps, you know, just trying to live them, he actually categorizes them down and makes me work them makes me write them down. Yeah, that’s, it helps me keeps me accountable.
Arlina Allen 40:29
Accountability is huge. Yes. And you know, I don’t know, if you realize as well you probably do. But like, just the service that you’re doing that isn’t like service work is the one thing that I have found builds your self esteem back up. Because as we’re going through that sort of, you know, just going through the wringer, basically, of addiction, our self esteem is just pummeled over and over,
Unknown Speaker 40:53
and none, I’ve really had none. I didn’t wanna take showers, I don’t want to get out of bed because my depression, I don’t want to talk to my friends. I didn’t want to go out of the house, you know. And I’m finally loving myself again, for the first time, since high school before I started drinking and drug and it’s just an amazing feeling to actually like the person that you see in the mirror now. And you’re legitimately proud of yourself for doing the things that you’re doing right now. And when other people acknowledge that, that is that that’s why I become so humble, because I’m like, I’m just doing this to stay sober and be me. But it’s affecting other people that I have no idea that it’s affecting. And they’re telling me about how it’s helped them and their, whatever struggles they may be, may not just be addiction, but just daily life, or things going on at home or whatever they’re dealing with. That I’m helping them in some way. It’s you couldn’t have told me this 10 months ago, when I was in rehab, that I would be on podcast talking about my story. Because I barely shared anything in rehab. I was timid, I didn’t want to tell my story. I mean, I’ve raised my hand if they own certain things, but nobody in rehab knew my full story. I never told him. Anything that what we’re talking about now. No, and I feel open to doing that now. And it’s a blessing. That is
Arlina Allen 42:14
yeah, that’s, it’s amazing. And it seems like once you like let the cat out of the bag, then there’s nothing to fear, right? No, no,
Unknown Speaker 42:23
it’s a huge weight off your shoulders.
Arlina Allen 42:25
Yeah, that’s huge. So um, I wanted to ask you a little bit about the differences between meetings, because I know meetings are run differently everywhere you go. Like, people are funny, right? That. So like in California, there is a chair person who shares their story, and then a secretary who runs the meeting, right? And your meeting opens a little differently. Like sometimes they read prayers or whatever, the serenity, whatever. And then the chairperson will share for about 10 or 15 minutes and then do like topic discussion. So it’s so interesting, because you get to hear everybody’s story, right? And they set a timer, right? It’s supposed to be what it was, like, what happened and what it’s like now. But like my I was telling my friend from Maryland, he was saying that, like anytime somebody speaks like we clap, and he’s like, What is with all the clapping and you’re saying metal clapper? You’re from right?
Unknown Speaker 43:22
No, it clap once when when the chair person is done telling the story. And that’s about it. The very big one. No, crosstalking Yeah, phones off. Don’t look at your phones. Pay attention because it’s disrespectful to the person talking which 100% We do have a secretary that runs it. We have an outside person that comes into chairs the meeting. And usually the person that speaks they’ll give them up to 40 minutes to talk. Oh, yes. Okay, so and then
Arlina Allen 43:50
they call those a speaker meeting where one person just has
Unknown Speaker 43:54
after the after the 40 minutes the last 20 minutes of the hour? They’ll call them people in audience or you know, in the meeting, is it
Arlina Allen 44:02
volunteer? Or do they call like the
Unknown Speaker 44:07
ticket taker just be like Tim, come on up and tell your story or John talk, tell your story, but you never know if they’re gonna call you or not. Which I kind of like, because you never know who’s gonna go up and and tell the story that they’re calling the same people over and over again. I’m sorry, but when you’ve heard the story 10 times from the same person. It tends not to resonate as much as you did the first three times. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I know what he’s gonna say already.
Arlina Allen 44:32
Yeah, so like in California, they’ll do a topic discussion. And so I used to go to a 6am meeting every day and they do talk to the chairperson and then a topic discussion so it could be anything from like willingness to surrender the family afterward like what step are you on like what so it does so people are even even though it’s sometimes some of the same people share because you get people like are some people are better speaker than than others. Let’s just say that right? And so a lot of times some of the same people get called on, but they have good things to share. And you’ll always get like that bleeding heart, right? I’m going to con people who’ve never who never get to share, you know, or sometimes they’ll do. Volunteer and the volunteers always scare me, because it’s always like the craziest person who takes the meeting hostage.
Unknown Speaker 45:24
Yes, true. I mean, our meetings are structured on Monday, or outside speaker Tuesday, we read from a book. And it’ll pick a chapter from a book, read the whole chapter. Oh, really, if there’s time left, after the chapter, we’ll discuss the chapter on how it affects us in our daily life. And then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or outside meetings, or outside speaker sorry. And then Saturday, and Sunday is daily reflections, they read from the daily reflection book or whatever date that it is, and some person will start it. And then they do a round robin, and everybody in the meeting gets to see how that daily reflection, you know, goes with what’s going on in their life. So it’s not just outside speakers all week long, you know, they try to break it up by reading the book doing daily reflections, and having outside speakers.
Arlina Allen 46:09
So you go to the like the same building or the same meeting. And it’s just different every day.
Unknown Speaker 46:15
I actually I go to, I have a home group, which is my home group, but I have chosen to other meetings that I go to, okay, because after a while even your home group, you have heard everybody’s story. Yeah. And I like to keep keep it fresh and hear something new. Because you never know, with that five minutes, somebody talks that really resonates to you and really hits home. So I go to my home meeting, and then I’ll go to a meeting on Friday nights at a church. And then Sunday night at a different church. And the Friday and Sundays are outside speakers that I’ve never seen before they bring in people from different counties to come and speak. So it’s always a new fresh person talking.
Arlina Allen 46:50
That’s nice. I you know, and I just need one person to say something that resonates with me to like, save the meeting for me, because sometimes you’ll be in meetings, I haven’t sober a long time. Like, I’ve heard this all before, a million times. And it just depends, but sometimes someone will just really share from the heart. And just like, Okay, that was totally worth it, you know? Cuz
Unknown Speaker 47:15
Yeah, and even if it’s repetitive, you know, I find myself when I walk into the meeting, it’s like, I got calm and comes over me. I know about a meeting, I know, I’m about to hear something that I need to hear for that day, or something that happened during the week. I’m about to release that into the meeting. And it’s so good. It’s like seeing a therapist.
Arlina Allen 47:36
It’s so interesting that you say that because I have had that experience to where I walk into the room. And then I just go, like, I don’t even realize that I’m uptight until I get there. And then I’m like, with my people, like who get my kind of crazy and I just relax. It’s like, oh, everything’s gonna be okay.
Unknown Speaker 47:53
Buddy judges you, you know. I mean, well, I mean, they say they don’t judge. They say they don’t judge you. But the humans are humans. We just
Unknown Speaker 48:02
are, just, like you said, restrain a tongue and pens.
Unknown Speaker 48:06
Yeah, but when you’re around a group of like minded people, which is so much easier to be able to share your story and get everything out, out in the open and off your chest.
Arlina Allen 48:14
Yeah, yeah. I’ve often thought that, you know, we find a new normal, right. And, and I’m, and I’m with people who get my kind of crazy, and it makes me feel normal. You know? And so just feels like, Okay, right?
Unknown Speaker 48:28
Yes. Luckily, I don’t remember a lot of it. But my friends and lifestyle do,
Arlina Allen 48:35
I’m sure, I’m sure. And the other thing I wanted to ask you about is during that period of time that you struggled, like, Okay, so let me just frame this for a sec. So I’ve been sober a long time, I didn’t relapse a lot. And I am always trying to be very sensitive to people who have relapse. Right. Like I was one of the lucky ones. I don’t know why. I got it early. I got I got sober. And I was 25. And I don’t know why it was blast. But I really whatever it is what it is. But my heart just breaks for people who are like the chronic relaxers or who struggled for a long time. And I always want to say like, I don’t know, I want to say what the right thing is, you know what I mean? Can you think back to some things that were helpful for you to hear and some things that were not
Unknown Speaker 49:31
to help helpful with would be usually my mom and my wife, you know, telling me you know, that there’s a better way you don’t have to drink every day. Like go with a past because, you know, a lot of the things that happened to me like my father left when I was six years old, and I held on to that up into my late 30s That kind of use that as a crutch. Yeah, I mean, I kind of used that as a crutch. Well, I can drink and draw and follow that and he didn’t love me about why. And finally in my like late 30s, I’m like, you know, he’s just a person. And him and my mom didn’t break up because of me. They just, they weren’t in love anymore, and I gotta gotta let it go. And not blame him, for me not being success for me using drugs or alcohol. He had nothing to do with it. It happens to a lot of people. And I should not allow that to dictate my future.
Arlina Allen 50:21
Did he not participate in your life after he left?
Unknown Speaker 50:26
So I mean, not really, I would see my father once or twice, every six months. I remember being a little black. I remember being a little boy. Yeah. And he would call my mom and be like, I’m coming to get to me for the weekend have his backpacks, I can’t tell you how many times I waited by the front door with my backpack. And he would call and say I can’t come this weekend, I gotta work. Or I gotta do this, do that. And as I got older, I found out, he was just chasing women out. But that’s what he wanted to do. And that’s why him and my mom got a divorce because my dad was cheating on. So I just had to finally accept that. That’s just how my father is. It didn’t have nothing to do if he didn’t love me. He loves me. He’s my father. But he wanted to do his own thing him in himself is a very selfish, egotistical person. And I’m okay with that. Now. That’s just because that’s just how he is. And it is what it is. I mean, I haven’t spoken to my father going on two or three years this year.
Arlina Allen 51:24
Can I just tell you that is legitimate trauma, though? Oh, yeah. And people drink because of those childhood experiences. And it’s like, we learned disassociation and detachment as a survival skill. But those survival skills don’t translate to healthy relationships as adults, because we actually need to be connected to our feelings, so that we can process them like that. That idea that time heals all wounds, puking, why it doesn’t the pain waits. And your your story is, you know, it’s proof. That’s, that’s legit trauma. And I know that it sounds like you are coming to peace with that, but that I just want to validate for you that that is legitimate trauma.
Unknown Speaker 52:07
Another thing and my brother’s 10 years older than me, so I was always like, Well, why did he stick around till my brother was 17. But he left when I was seven, there’s something wrong with me. Did he not want to be with me not want to raise me, you know, and then even up into my 30s, my, my dad would call my brother to go to gun shows are going to do go out to dinner or lunch? Never called Nazmi to go and do it. You know, I’m saying
Arlina Allen 52:31
that’s what I would consider persistent, pervasive trauma, because it’s like a reinjury every time that happens,
Unknown Speaker 52:37
and I guess and that’s why coming up on three years now, I haven’t spoken to him. Just because, you know, why should I care? If he doesn’t? Why should I take away from my sobriety, and my freedom of letting go? When he could give a shit less about what I’m doing? Now? I will say this last month, he called my mom. And he asked me said how’s Timmy doing? And she said, pte is doing really good. He’s coming up on 10 months. He goes to meetings every week. He’s been doing podcasts. He goes, and she said he got quiet and was like, Well, what about me? And she said, Well, only thing I can tell you is it’s one of the steps is to make amends. She’s like, and he’s working on his steps. So maybe this year hold, he will come and speak to you. And I’m going to do it for me, not not for him, I’m going to do it to let that part of my life go. If he wants to have a relationship with me, that would be I would, I would accept that. And if he doesn’t, I’m already except that that’s something I don’t have to worry about anymore. But I want him to know that, you know, I’m sober. I forgive him for not being around because that was a big thing. I didn’t forgive him for a very long time. But I do forgive him now. Because I can’t change a person’s personality. You know, he’s he is who he is. And I can’t hate him for that. I would if people hated me for the last 27 years of my addiction and who would I be to hate him for the way he lived his life that was just the way his life was supposed to be. So I can’t hold on to that.
Arlina Allen 54:11
I appreciate I appreciate your your compassion. You know, it sounds like you have compassion for yourself and compassion for your for your father. And you know boundaries are an interesting way of navigating difficult relationships right? And boundaries are a funny thing. Sometimes you don’t know where they are until you cross them. Right but you know what I mean? Yeah. It sounds like you have it sounds like Jeff has like a good guide for you and can help you navigate those. Those are tricky waters. My my like mama bear is kind of coming out and I’m like, Oh, be careful.
Unknown Speaker 54:54
Yeah, and, like, again, I’m doing it for me. And I’m I don’t expect anything Yeah. So whenever you expect something from somebody, usually you get that down. Yeah. So I’m not expecting anything from him. I’m doing it to get it off my shoulder so I can reach out and be be in recovery now, and I heard something the other day at the meeting, the guy said, I don’t want to be recovered. He said, I want to be in recovery. He said, because once I my mind says, I’m recovered, it’s going to tell me I can go back out. He said, I want to be in recovery for the rest of my life. I never want to be cured or recovered, and I was like, I guess, okay, I can. Okay.
Arlina Allen 55:35
I like the idea of, like, perpetual evolution. Like, I feel like we’re either evolving or devolving. Right. And I I like the recovery mindset, because that is always about learning and growing and changing for the better. Right? There’s always more to learn. There’s always more to uncover, and yeah, I never thought that like oh my god, this. Like, it scares me when people think like, Oh, I got this. I think Wait, people relapse.
Unknown Speaker 56:06
Yeah, it waits in the bushes for ambush and take you down quicker harder than it did before. That’s right. Yeah, it lurks in the darkness.
Arlina Allen 56:14
It lurks in the darkness. Well, that is a great I think that’s a good place to wrap up. What do you think? So much good stuff. If people want to follow you, I I found you on Instagram or we connected on Instagram. What’s your? What’s your Instagram handle?
Unknown Speaker 56:34
It’s AT T lodging. LOD je and my last name.
Arlina Allen 56:40
T largen. You told me it was lodge n or is it Island
Unknown Speaker 56:44
Lodge, and it’s LOD G and but it’s pronounced like ski lodge. That was the pronunciation and like you’re going into a door so lodge in LA
Arlina Allen 56:53
in got it? Yes, yeah, you have quite the following already. Which is amazing.
Unknown Speaker 57:00
I I’ve only been on Instagram for three months. I’m so jealous.
Unknown Speaker 57:04
Can I just tell you? So you’re gonna
Unknown Speaker 57:09
get aren’t you? 100% I’ll share all week long. My wife she What the hell was going on? I said, I don’t know. I said, but tell me tell me. Sobriety isn’t gifting me things that I took away from myself for so long for so long. It’s amazing.
Arlina Allen 57:24
It’s amazing. Well, I am just so happy for you and Jennifer and your girls and your grandson like this. March. There is no ending. There’s just always a new beginning. And you know, it’s so hopeful, right? Well, I hope hearing other people’s experiences. I just love that.
Unknown Speaker 57:43
I’ve started the new chapter in my book and it’s not going to end with me taking myself out of my story.
Unknown Speaker 57:49
I love that.
Arlina Allen 57:50
Thank you so much for spending this time with me. It was such a pleasure to get to know you. I’m really grateful for your story and
Unknown Speaker 57:57
for having me on. I’m so humbled that you have asked me to come on and speak and I hope this really helps somebody that needs to hear this today.
Arlina Allen 58:02
high percent as well.
Unknown Speaker 58:05
All right, you have a great day. Bye.
Unknown Speaker 58:06
You too. Bye bye.
Arlina Allen 58:10
recording stopped Hey,
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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