With the lights down low at a SoulCycle class, I was sweating my butt off and about to run out of steam when the instructor put on DMX.
My FAVORITE DMX song, (yes I have a fav DMX song) “Up in here”.
The switch was flipped!
Something inside me lit up like a raging fire. It was like permission to be pissed off for 4 minutes and it felt awesome! The room was hot and jumpin, the beat was heavy and we were all killin it!
Any aggression I felt was completely spent. I walked out of that class flying high.
It got me thinking that it would be awesome to do that on the regular. We are told to set aside time to connect to our loving higher power and to get quiet and to let that shit go…
But where is the balance? Am I not to accept my human shortcomings in order to overcome them?
Then the question becomes when I really feel angry, is it okay to be pissed? If so, what do I do with that energy?
I’m going to suggest 3 reasons why it’s okay to be pissed, and offer a few suggestions that have helped me.
- Anger is a natural response to hurt
Anger is actually a secondary response to hurt. When we feel hurt we tend to mask it with anger because that is easier to feel. As women, we are taught that it’s not “nice” to get angry.
So we repress it. Bad idea. Its energy is destructive and it will come out sideways when you least expect it.
Face it head on. Deal with it. Resolve it. Be free of it.
That energy needs to be released! Let it out in a constructive way. Use anger while you exercise, let it fuel you, let it transform you. Inside and out.
- Anger is a teacher
When we experience feelings of hurt and anger, we have a choice to choose love or fear. When we are conscious of that choice, we can take pause and decide how to respond, instead of reacting.
Ask yourself, is this a response out of love, or fear? You will know.
Choosing love brings peace, fear fosters more of the same.
What works best for me is to reach out to a friend and talk it out. VENT. But then start moving toward a loving solution. Surround yourself with friends who are on the same journey toward self-awareness, healing, and love.
Friends that will remind you of who you really are and to choose love, not to give into F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real.
- Anger is a motivator
Anger carries with it a powerful energy that we can use to our benefit. Feeling hurt that someone invalidated your feelings? Feeling pissed that you lost something, like a job, a friend, a lover?
It’s important to look at our part in the situation and take responsibility. In the perennial best seller, The Road Less Traveled”, by M.Scott Peck, he talks about in every relationship there is a 50/50 shared responsibility. We must look at our part in order to learn what we could have done to either accelerate or provoke the situation.
He’s the bad news / good news. We have to make amends, not simply apologize, but ask the other person what we can do to make it right.
I know, it sucks… but if you want to live free, you will do it.
“Everything we want, is on the other side of fear.” George Addair
Remember what this burning feeling FEELS like, so the next time you are tempted to ask like an ass, you will remember that feeling and choose again.
Choose peace. Choose to be free. Choose love.
Call To Action
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“Previously published by Thought Catalog at www.thoughtcatalog.com.”
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