Empathy Based Recovery

I have come to a place in my life where I am done with shame based recovery.

There is a time and place to examine our part and to take responsibility. It’s so important to have mentors who will create a space so safe, that we can release the blanket of denial.

For me this happens after validation. After compassion. I can see my part, make adjustments and take action to correct and repair where necessary.

And when that’s been accomplished, it’s time to move. The fuck. On.

It’s time to start focusing on character assets. Time to focus on our higher selves. To acknowledge the power that is within us. The same power that created us. It’s time to get a vision of our future selves that we can move toward.

We don’t need to be fixed because we’re not broken. Hurt, yes, but not defective or broken.

It’s time to invoke the law of attraction and start the undoing of unworthiness.

If I sound a little pissed, well it’s because I am.

I tried to submit to a process that was shame based and I didn’t even realize it. Deep down there was a little voice that was telling me something wasn’t right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. After two frustrating years of this “new way” of working steps I finally had enough.

When all roads lead to “you’re not doing it right” by way of, you need to surrender MORE, you need to practice God reliance MORE, you need to smash your ego MORE, you need to trust MORE…even after you have done your best, then something isn’t right.

I’m fucking done with that bullshit.

After 30+ days of practicing the RAIN meditation of self-compassion lead by Tara Brach it finally hit me: Empathy is my path to recovery. Self-compassion holds the key to my healing.

And from here on out, I will no longer practice shame based recovery.

I practice empathy based recovery.

All this was inspired by this poem that has changed my life. I hope you find as much peace within it as I have.

xoxo,

Arlina

Indian master Bapuji, who writes:

My beloved child,

Break your heart no longer.

Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart,

You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.

The time has come, your time

 To live, to celebrate and to see the goodness that you are…

Let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you.

If one comes, even in the name of “Truth,” 

Forgive it for its unknowing. 

Do not fight. Let go.

And breathe – into the goodness that you are.