{"id":5526,"date":"2025-07-02T11:04:42","date_gmt":"2025-07-02T18:04:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/odaatchat.com\/?p=5526"},"modified":"2025-09-04T18:33:30","modified_gmt":"2025-09-05T01:33:30","slug":"the-secret-addiction-that-shattered-us-rebuilding-after-hidden-betrayal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/odaatchat.com\/index.php\/2025\/07\/02\/the-secret-addiction-that-shattered-us-rebuilding-after-hidden-betrayal\/","title":{"rendered":"The Secret Addiction That Shattered Us: Rebuilding After Hidden Betrayal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Embed Player\" src=\"https:\/\/play.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/37261835\/height\/128\/theme\/modern\/size\/standard\/thumbnail\/yes\/custom-color\/87A93A\/time-start\/00:00:00\/playlist-height\/200\/direction\/backward\/download\/yes\/font-color\/FFFFFF\" height=\"128\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"\" webkitallowfullscreen=\"true\" mozallowfullscreen=\"true\" oallowfullscreen=\"true\" msallowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border: none;\"><\/iframe>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/EQ9uAOX2NSs?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In this episode, I\u2019m joined by Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith\u2014a couple whose story of addiction, betrayal, and ultimately deep healing is nothing short of powerful. Matthew shares his journey through sexual addiction and recovery, while Joanna opens up about the betrayal trauma that nearly broke their relationship\u2014and how they found a way to rebuild trust, intimacy, and connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We talk about what betrayal trauma <em>really<\/em> is (hint: it\u2019s not codependency), how hiding the truth strips partners of choice, and why full disclosure\u2014when done safely\u2014can be a turning point for couples facing the fallout of hidden addictions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m so grateful to Joanna and Matthew for being so open, vulnerable, and generous with their story. Not only have they done their own healing work, they\u2019re now guiding other couples through some of the most painful and confusing moments of their lives. If you&#8217;ve ever asked yourself, <em>\u201cCan we really come back from this?\u201d<\/em>\u2014this conversation is for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before we jump in, I wanted to share an update on my \u201cSelf-Care Summer\u201d project where I have been focusing the majority of my time on recovering from burnout. I have gone through the workaholic\/burnout cycle so many times, I realized it\u2019s time to take a step back, quit posting daily content on social media, delete the social apps from my phone, and really take action on all the healing practices that I have discovered over the last 30 years.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My approach was to create a list of activities, and I am listing them in the order that I\u2019ve been doing them. You can find the list at <a href=\"https:\/\/odaatchat.com\">odaatchat.com<\/a> under this episode. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The list includes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gratitude List &#8211; text 5-12 things to clients &amp; friends<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Walks With Teddy while listening to educational or inspiring podcasts<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Weight training &amp; Yoga<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">12 Step Meetings<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Journaling: Two Way Prayer, Morning Pages, Education Reflection Journaling<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">30 Minutes Meditation &#8211; Waking Up App: Guided Meditations by Adiyashanti <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tracking Time: I clock all the things above but also include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Step Work<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cooking<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Grooming<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gardening<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Education &#8211; There\u2019s a bunch of books I want to work through. The intention is to actually do the work suggested in the books.&nbsp; On the docket are: The 5 Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom, Stop Missing Your Life by Corey Muscara, Make Money Easy by Lewis Howes, and (possibly) A Course In Miracles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Podcasting<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Client Calls<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Evening reflection journaling<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know it probably sounds like a lot, and I didn\u2019t want this to turn into another thing I obsess over. To prevent that, the overarching guiding principle is to do a quick inner compass check and ask, &#8220;What is the next right indicated action?&#8221; And if I notice I need to rest or want to focus on play, I do that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The goal is really to practice self-acceptance and to give myself time and space to think about what patterns or stories no longer serve me, and think about who I really want to be and how I really want to spend my time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we strip away what we think we should do, and get honest about our heart&#8217;s desire, that\u2019s when we can truly align with our life\u2019s purpose and live authentically. This is really a process of emerging, and I\u2019m excited about this phase in my journey. So stay tuned for updates!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Matt &amp; Joanna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Contact The Raabsmiths: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"http:\/\/raabsmithteam.com\/free\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">raabsmithteam.com\/free<\/a>&nbsp;&#8211; link&nbsp;to free couple&#8217;s&nbsp;connection&nbsp;tool that we&#8217;d love to gift your audience<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.raabsmithteam.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">raabsmithteam.com<\/a>&nbsp;&#8211; Raabsmith Team Website<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\ud83d\udc4a\ud83c\udffcNeed help applying this information to your own life?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are 3 ways to get started:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\ud83c\udf81Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days &#8211; With a printable PDF checklist<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Grab your copy here: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.soberlifeschool.com\">https:\/\/www.soberlifeschool.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\ud83c\udf81Free Journaling Exercise: How To Get Unstuck, Be Consistent &amp; Reach Your Goals<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Download Here: https:\/\/www.innercompassprogram.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u260e\ufe0fPrivate Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.makesobrietystick.com\">https:\/\/www.makesobrietystick.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Subscribe So You Don\u2019t Miss New Episodes!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Listen to the episode on<\/em><\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast\/id1212504521\"><strong><em> <\/em><\/strong><strong><em>Apple Podcasts<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em>, <\/em><\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB\"><strong><em>Spotify<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em>, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website <\/em><\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.odaatchat.com\"><strong><em>HERE<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em>.<\/em><\/strong><strong> <\/strong><strong><em>You can also watch the interview on YouTube.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com\/docsz\/AD_4nXfjSU5B3wKSLunTbjYCyMwxSnvKnf8_r5SvXVMOUxGmhFJdsqsdxCFz0GkGB0Vqxi9T2iRHYcGFYlc8UApCtFMpZ8VZGgiSXsTnx5htNDI4ayLYBiqUbqsI9qMicksbcPuwDDvMTw?key=kmrdnNSVZ7N4G-CHbL8BsQ\" alt=\"\" style=\"width:212px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast\/id1212504521\"><strong><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com\/docsz\/AD_4nXfLom8UC9fvNX7040U31VWpwRmVLGRASasU1tFsMIbi3nhlEMW9LTNS34DkLHFJ4orH-UGKEtkX7Zs8B1NvVUkWxljib3Oen5HBnPjdhpCw9aKZgr2IHsuYsw52XfJyz9WvkzZNUw?key=kmrdnNSVZ7N4G-CHbL8BsQ\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com\/docsz\/AD_4nXclca9yI0oZI1YaFS8Ab76ORwN3XQamkUmkeLmf5lEASOiSi9RoBt4AVkZjnrXYCPRgFnhkm0E-sYBXFYVivG75Jq8n5Qgz0-BOquV7y2cjqGDfoMDJLlz7T4j6-CaKJRGZ7oh0?key=kmrdnNSVZ7N4G-CHbL8BsQ\" alt=\"\" style=\"width:223px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/music.amazon.com\/podcasts\/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com\/docsz\/AD_4nXdju-eoFdz2pL-M1fXR3zFs-1is0PDA19ERlUqW3WK39nf2zqzasFueSzB1NqM5_54MlXvY1wHcsA7lYWFlnkbyC6kGSZeKmbnow7yWFO2tooEvpnKwb8L4YEkFIrx7v3Hu0Pt2xQ?key=kmrdnNSVZ7N4G-CHbL8BsQ\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@theonedayatatimepodcast\"><strong><\/strong><\/a><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Apple: <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast\/id1212504521\"><strong>https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast\/id1212504521<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Spotify: <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB\">https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Amazon Music: <a href=\"https:\/\/music.amazon.com\/podcasts\/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast\">https:\/\/music.amazon.com\/podcasts\/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff\/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this episode, I\u2019m joined by Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith\u2014a couple whose story of addiction, betrayal, and ultimately deep healing is nothing short 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