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I hear so many stories of people who are turned off by 12 step meetings because there is a constant echo of \u201cyou are powerless over people, places and things\u201d. If that were really true, then why do we pray for others? If we are truly powerless, then what\u2019s the point?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In 12 step programs that address everything from alcohol and drugs, to debt, gambling, codependency, pornography, sex, sex & love, and on and on, there is a focus on being powerless – over those specific issues. Not EVERYTHING in life! That\u2019s ridiculous\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see so many people who have achieved major goals, who are smart and influential, shy away from programs that constantly focus on behavioral shortcomings and \u201ccharacter defects\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s a shame based approach, which is counter productive. Do we need to know where we make mistakes? Absolutely, but then correct them, and move onto focusing on what’s working. On assets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What we focus on expands, so let’s focus more on what we DO want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Old ideas and language that lack context and new information, leads to a lot of misconceptions. This is an attempt to share how the ideas of powerlessness and true power makes sense to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To clarify, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous talk about powerlessness over alcohol. It\u2019s my opinion, in an attempt to help people suffering from alcoholism (or as we call it now, Alcohol Use Disorder), there was a focus on breaking the denial of the effects alcohol has on some people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For some people, it\u2019s a valid observation that once some people start drinking, they have no control over themselves or what happens next. They have lost the ability to drink alcohol like a \u201cnormal\u201d person and abstinence from alcohol becomes a necessary way of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In this scenario, powerlessness over alcohol is valid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What has always bothered me is the idea that we are powerless over other people, places and things. Of course we cannot truly control other people like you would a machine, but I have met plenty of women who were totally controlled by an abusive partner. Or adult children who ran themselves ragged trying to make a critical parent happy. I\u2019m sure you could add to the list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haven\u2019t we also seen influencers in social media? What about preachers or teachers or politicians or other public figures who have mass influence over our society? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even on a smaller scale, the influence and effect we have on our friends and families, for better or worse?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The truth is we DO have power and influence on those around us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my mind the question becomes, how do we use this power? How do we use this power for good? Not in a codependent way, but in a way that serves others that also nourishes ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m currently studying what quantum physics has to say about the theory of entanglement and it\u2019s blowing my mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m not going to bore you, I\u2019m going to give you the bottom line because that\u2019s what I\u2019m always looking for so I can make sense of it for others and apply it to my own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know how all the woo woo people and hippies use to talk about \u201cwe are all one\u201d? Well that idea actually has a lot of science backing it up, which I think is really cool, since I don\u2019t always have perfect faith. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This can be explained with the quantum theory of \u201cSpooky Action At A Distance\u201d as Albert Einstein called it. (Not even kidding, you can look it up). This theory is more commonly referred to now as the quantum theory of entanglement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The basic premise is that two particles that are separated, still have an effect on each other, even if they\u2019re clear across the planet. There\u2019s even a super cool documentary on the experiment proving it called \u201cEinstein\u2019s Quantum Riddle\u201d. You can check it out here:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n